WireWorld » Wirehead » Warnings

The serious stuff...

This page is my property. Everything on it, except where noted, has been made by me. So, I'd appreciate it if you don't use it without my permission.

You may not take my images and use them on your own page, without permission. My artist friends and I are awfully tired of people stealing our artwork, and we will hunt you down. 'k?

You may link to the page all you want. So quit asking, OK?

The other stuff...

This section has been, in various forms, on my webpage for a long time. It has grown and been modified over time to some sort of weird mess.

Ken "Wirehead" Wronkiewicz is not responsible for any losses, damages, lost sleep, false information, death, destruction, genocide, loss of innocence, or other trauma created as a result of the use of this service. Furthermore, if this has had some tangible effect on your life, perhaps bringing a ray of light into your dull boring life, I want to know so that I can claim credit. ;)

This page contains puns. You have been warned.

This page is written in HTML. HTML technology is not fault tolerant and is not designed, manufactured, or intended for use or resale as on-line control equipment in hazardous environments requiring fail-safe performance, such as in the operation of nuclear facilities, aircraft navigation or communications systems, air traffic control, direct life support machines, yo mamma, or weapons systems, in which the failure of HTML technology could lead directly to death, destruction, personal injury, or severe physical or environmental damage.

In the result of unintentional outages of service, WireWorld will reimburse you from your bill. However, since this is free, don't bother to complain.

This page will probably offend you. If you are faint of heart, prudish, unimaginative, sane, or otherwise normal, we do not take responsibility for your sanity. If you do not meet these qualifications, you will love this page. Bookmark it right away.

WireWorld has an "Open Door" policy. If you don't like us, the door is open for you to leave.

Your mileage may vary. Batteries not included. Do not remove under penalty of law. Do not redistribute, Copyright (C), 1996, Ken Wronkiewicz. 299792458 m/sec - It's not just a good idea, it's the law. Wash gentle. One size fits all. Void where Prohibited. No purchase Necessary. Certified Pervert Free. Enter at your own risk. Support your local hackers. Spread chaos freely. Only 82% pure. Special limited time offer. While supplies last. Certified as a complete waste of time by some anonymous hacker wanabee. Not approved for IFR usage. Void where prohibited. Provides 100% of the US RDA for all essential vitamins and minerals. Not to be taken orally. Contains 100% binary and textual data. Warning, this product has many side-effects that you may not enjoy.

Due to a little-known phenomena called tunneling, we cannot guarantee the continued existence of this file in it's present condition. In fact, we cannot guarantee that in the next thirty seconds, you would not suddenly tunnel to the center of a star and be instantly rendered into plasma.

Warning, this material is Wirehead Oriented Material. By reading this, you are saying that you WANT to read this garbage, that you won't be offended too much by it, that you are not normal, and that if you sue Wirehead because you don't like this, Wirehead reserves the right to show up on your doorstep with a shotgun and that you assume all responsibility for your actions that the Wirehead may have caused you to do.

No credit cards or COD's accepted. A shipping and handling charge in excess of several thousand dollars may be added to your tab. Furthermore, A special limited "We Don't Really Like You" fee of several thousand more dollars may be added on with the Wirehead's Discretion.

Any ideas contained in this page, if any, are the intellectual property of the Wirehead. Any employers or friends of the Wirehead are not responsible for the information contained within. The Wirehead does not speak for his employers. OneNet is not responsible for this service, in fact they would be frightened if they actually looked at it. WireWorld is a non-profit organization, except when there is actually money involved. The Wirehead retains the rights to your soul which he can exercise at any time without compensation to you for the removal of your soul.

All accesses to this page are logged. If you can't deal with this, disconnect now. Just try one of the major pages, they really look into your browser.

This page was brought to you by the National Coalition Against Concealed Targets, The Order of the Rubber Duckie, The "Let's Nuke Em! " Society of America, The St. Xavier Armed Robbery Club, The Limbaugh Foundation Against Society, Filthy Rich Sneaky Politicians International, Serial Killers for a Darker future, the number 42 and the letters W, K, and S.

The United council of cursers paid for this page, okay, you scumsucking lowlife?

Are you still reading this? Fool!

Support your local rescue squad. Get lost!

This sentense contains threee errors.

This page was not brought to you by the government, OSHA, CIA, FBI, OSI, NSA, NCSA, NASA, OneNet, the American Dental Association, Disunited we sit America, the Republican party, the Democratic party, WEBN, George Washington, the EPA, and most of the rest of the world.

This page is not warranteed against any damage to you, your computer, your house, your animals, your life, or anything else. Feel lucky that your head hasn't exploded yet.

Microsoft is a registered trademark and the Microsoft Internet Explorer Logo is a trademark of Microsoft. Netscape and the Netscape Now Logo is a trademark of Netscape Communications Corp. WireWorld is a completely unregistered trademark. There are probably countless other trademarks and stuff, but who really cares? Curiously enough, Internet Explorer is NOT a Microsoft trademark, and in fact, they are getting sued over the use of that trademark.

If you are still reading this and believe what I am saying, and think this is actual fine print, you should be hung, shot, stretched, disemboweled, drawn, quartered, castrated, pelted with firecrackers, burned, frozen, used as firelighters, and have your tongue stretched around your head six times. These warnings are completely tongue-in-cheek.

This page is the property of Ken Wronkiewicz and is copyrighted by him. Do not distribute without permission. If you actually quote me or link to me, I'd love to hear about it.